Tuesday, March 18, 2008

Squirrel Hunting

I'm visiting my dear friend in Alabama this week.  It's nice that we homeschool so we can pack up and take trips like this.  Since I've been eating only whole foods for a few months, I've had the pleasure to introduce my friend and her family to some our typical foods which includes smoothies made with spinach.  She was, I believe, surprised to find herself asking me to make another smoothie for breakfast this morning.  

This is a friend of mine who shares some of the same behaviors with initials that I do.  We have a wonderful time talking and watching our children play together.  She's a fastidious housekeeper. She's a master of routine, kindness and cleanliness.  She has a great sense of humor and is lots of fun to be with.  

I settle down this afternoon to begin homeschooling with my son while she nursed her daughter to get ready for bed.  The house is serene as she nourishes her daughter with milk as I nourish my son with knowledge.  We are doing word problems involving fractions with great concentration.  My 17 month old daughter is sleeping and my friend's other child is watching with great interest as we do school.  

Suddenly a loud crashing, banging noise issues forth from the room.  The boys and I freeze and stare wide eyed at one another as we hear my sweet friend rap the window pane and yell "You are stupid! Don't eat my birdseed!!!!"  I then hear the Mommy voice return as she says "you can tell him too."  So we hear mother and daughter together berating the rogue squirrel in the backyard.  The three of us stifle our laughter, afraid to wake my daughter. 

My friend had informed me yesterday of her passion against this squirrel who eats her birdseed.  She's greased the pole on her bird feeder and has wished for the first time in her life, for a firearm.  The picture of this petite, soft-spoken Mama, formally trained as a librarian gunning for a squirrel was something I couldn't quite imagine.  

The house went back to quiet and she sweetly sang her daughter to sleep.  She tidied up the house while her son got ready to listen to hear read aloud from "Farmer Boy".   I realized as we worked on school that she was bustling about as she does and had some things in her hands.  

Then I realized one of the things in her hands was a bag of marshmallows.  I admit I was perplexed and mildly intrigued but I remained focused on the task of training up my child in the way that he should go.  We work in this breakfast nook at a table in front of a big picture window.  I realized my son's attention was raptly focused on that window suddenly.  I followed his gaze and my face nearly cracked in half with a silly grin.

My friend stood on the deck with a menacing marshmallow gun rapid firing into the backyard.  At last the picture I couldn't quite imagine stood larger than life framed in a pretty window with a nice woodsy backdrop.  The only way I could reconcile this image to reality was to remind myself that she would probably be in the backyard later intently cleaning white sugary globs from the grass.  Only then would I believe my friend had not in actuality been visited by aliens.  


Angela said...

First, tell her not to go pick them up, they will melt in the rain tomorrow.
I sat here and howled. That is so funny. I can see her doing every bit of that. Too funny!

Marie said...

ROTF!!! I never knew she had it in her. :)

Carissa said...

Would you believe that Amber found one of the marshmellows in the backyard a few days later? After the rain. It was the same size, only hard. I made sure to get it from her before she tried to eat it.
Oh, and now she loves to look for her squirrel every morning, as he is still hanging around, even though there hasn't been bird seed in the feeder in about two weeks (my blood pressure can't handle it!).